Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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