38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
