Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
