I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
