How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
