Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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