You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
