pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
