My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
