that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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