Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
