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• (619): View more from California

  after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.

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• (718): View more from New York

  he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

  (917): View more from New York City

  smooth operator

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

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• (425): View more from Washington

  We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

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• (619): View more from California

  You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  I thought I was just out of shape.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.

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• (916): View more from California

  This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think

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