I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
