you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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