can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Someone came in the potted fern
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dude. I can hear the air.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
