I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
