Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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