Have you finally orgasmed yet?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
