yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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