Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think pants incapable of making pants work
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
