I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
