you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
