There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
