They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
