yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
