Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
