This is not my ceiling
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
