i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
