so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
