i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
