in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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