Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
