If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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