Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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