I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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