Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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