HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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