Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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