I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
