Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
