Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
where am i from again
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
