pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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