thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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