Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
