Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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