omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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