So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
