you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
