You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
