i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
